B05 Dreams are changing

i feel, My dreams are changing,

shall i go to LLB, or continue in job ? 

B04 Heavy Rain

from morning There is heavy rain, it made me lot of memories, the whole day its heavy cool and strong rain over the City.

i have to give my car for its 37500 km service, eventhough it only run for 32500km .. haha .. the last time when i got my car after serviceing, two tyres of it has been replaced by some other worn out tyres by the servicing personnels, due my carelessness, i didn't checked the serials at time of delivery, and noticed only after some weeks, as a common customer, as we does in every time, careless !
i have requested the service team, also reported to the GM india, to check it, the service team has given me a conclusion that it was not been replaced... they are clear than me and my money. i have strongly adviced them, it should not be happen again,
there is no other means, because i have to raise the issue at time of delivery, after some weeks, there is of no use..

missing my achu's calls these days, she didnt called me last two days, dont know, if she loves me let her come with else let her be with her family.

the major news to day are.

Marriage of star cupples Fagath fasil and Nsriya Nazim has happened at alsaj, thiruvananthapuram, and hence the trafic was heavy at that area,

Chief minister Shri OOmman Chandi has beaten the othersm with an idea of complead Liquer free state, within 3 years... " nadanna pole thanne " it is difficult to have, because, if liquor is banned, duplicates will rule and these corrupted excise and other Mafia are going to be rich .. and poor are going to be in their cemetery .. bull shit, instead he would have made huge fine to public drinkers,  also this will cause a huge loss to the state income as State beverages corporations 2 days income is enough to give salary to all state employees ..

Wrongly managed economy will be the ultimate effect.. but the Ooman chandi is going to be the king on next ellections ..

the ultimate effect is : CPM is going to be wiped out from Kerala also and Congress is going to be strong in Kerala ( may be only in kerala) 

B03 New decisions

i am going to take new decisions in my life

not going to wait for anyone or don't want to spoil for some one, the words of Bhagavat Geetha is going to apply, 

" All happened are for good

What ever happening is for good and 

what ever may happen in future are also for good

so let the life run as is, and am going to cherish it with all respect, that i am having a life, and i dont want to run it without achieving nothing, i have to boos and encourage self to raise.

Today i have the same routine life, but i was happy through out till time, never happen any bad  negative thoughts, i feels it a good sense that my mind has accepted my decision. 

The whole day, i thought about my son, and how to have his next birth day, latter i send a message to my wife requesting, her that we both should be with him whole day for this birth day and let him have a memorable day , who knows what will happen on next day. 

Evening i have adviced my step father to have a smart phone for him, and he got a brand new azus model android phone , and given some basic training to him, through out mylife, there was only two personnels inspired me  to make them as roll models,

Muralidharan GS (Late 2009)

first is my uncle Mr. Muralidharan GS (Late) and second is Mr. Rajesh (my step father), murali mamam has a dramatic life, always advised me that family is a crystal, not to break never, and i owe that, and will try till my last breath. he was a legend who have suffered a lot about his family even tough they owe him , but he managed his life in the second way as a Thespian. he who introduced the intimate theatre system on drama presentation in India first at 1976's during his play "Ravunnikal" latter in the 2003 i have also played the same with the same concept. when he passed away all New papers in Tamil Nadu has had a 4 page supplementary but in Kerala it was a half page news to  one paper, and other had a 4 column news, He was a legend, who had never got any admiration from own state or native place,  i will explain about him latter, 

Mr. rajesh is an undersecretery in govt service now , but has suffered a lot in early educations states, i have seen him from my childhood, when he was altering his brothers old shirts for his use from our sewing machine. latter his aim have given him success, 

My life aims, 

i had have set the following aims early at 9 years,

1. i will not have more than one life partner in all the means - and till date and till my last breath i will retain this. 
2. i have to become a roll model in my native place - had once and now all gone, i have to re-back it
3. I have to earn a lot in right way - did never happened 
4. I have to leave my traces, after my life - under preparation of a new book with a new concept. in engineering fashion products, have launched a web page fashiontacher.in as secondary 
5. i have to travel a lot and visit most of the places in world - had been through out the coastal of kerala, and from last 2 years i was not gone with any and will start it again from next month onwards, at-least 500 km visit every month inside kerala and one foreign country every six months
6. have to take a doctorate - have to work for it atleast from now. 

so for all these, i am going to plan and re schedule my life, as i am getting more free, mean while, i have to take more studies also.. 

B02 Life is Rolling

My life is rolling without knowing where it is going, 

each and every day, i used to think, what is happening in my life?. but still date i dont get an answer. dont know why, 

when i married i thought that will be a new beginning, am getting a companion who will care me and be with me along till my death, but soon after, i realized, they have only care for their money and their own. i was shocked. then tried best to catch hold my life in all possible ways, but each trial fails, i was loosing my mental stability and gone in an unstable mental situation. 

They tried all means to get separation, but till this time i could not realize Why? me and my son, we are suffering. 

today i have to travel to Kollam, about 60km from my town, after long 13 months i have travelled in bus for about 2 hrs to reach, through out my journey i thought of the same questions to find some explanations, i can only find one answer. " Above all there was no love towards me" it may be the reason. then made a decision. i should  leave her  and step back to 5 year past, because i am still there in my career, and wealth. i have to develop my career, and education. 

once reached home, i got her call by 11.40 pm, she has the same words, you have spoiled, we wont match, but when i ask what i have spoiled, there was another world, "look you are arguing, hence we wont match."  i have cleared her, ther i am concerned about my son, he need all care of parents for a better life, but there was no solutions for that, the only thing she was concerned is the amount i assured to deposit in my sons name, and they want it in their name, not in his name. 

and Now, today, i decided, i can live without my wife, who was not at all with me, when i was sinking in bed for about 6 months, but i cannot leave my son with such a women, who is only cared about herself and her own pleasure, am not going to leave my son with her, and i need to take care of him, till he can, and their should be sufficient career path need to be developed, they are business people, and they thinks of only money, i want my son to be learn humanity and i will.

Kollam Lake View

B01-New Start Up

Hi,

Dear Friends,

after many days of thinking, i am starting my on line diary. let my tell a hearty sorry for my poor English,

i used to write diaries since i was 10 years,  just before my marriage in 2009, all were in paper diaries,  as a good artist, my diaries were full of my thoughts, believes, and creations on time to time.

from 2009 till this day i have experienced a lot in life and gone through various states and situation, faced many tough and painful situations, may be the most important things in life has occurred in this period and, unfortunately, i dont wrote any page in these days..

when i look back, i realize, i made  a mistake, i should have kept my diary updated every day at least for my son, bcz after some years he may need these pages to realize who i am and what i was, and how much i have suffered for him.

first i thought of writing this in papers but latter decided to make it online, bcz, a paper can be destroyed but this will remain as is for him,

dear readers,

This is my life, a story of a well organized, i thought so, man who had failed in all the means, and trying to climb back at any cost from my ashes.

Thank you,

reg
Akhil